


Insecure

by nctdollz



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Dancer Hwang Hyunjin, Dancer Lee Minho | Lee Know, Fluff and Angst, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Hwang Hyunjin-centric, Hyunjin is a baby, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, Light Angst, M/M, OT8, Protective Minho, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, Sub Hwang Hyunjin, Sweet Hwang Hyunjin, Top Lee Minho | Lee Know, coffee dates, hyunjin goes into a headspace, hyunjin has anxiety, idk lol, implied bottom hyunjin, slight angst, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26717251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctdollz/pseuds/nctdollz
Summary: a short story in which minho helps hyunjin learn to love himself.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 15
Kudos: 101





	1. chapter one :]

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first story! please feel free to give any tips and feedback at the end !

hwang hyunjin was a very pretty man, people often describing him as ‘feminine’ for having a small slender body and a pretty face.

it seemed everyone except hyunjin was aware of this. no matter how many times his friends or family would tell him, he would not budge and would immediately disagree saying he’s not that ‘attractive’ and was ‘barely average’.

hyunjin had a lot of different styles depending on what his mood was, but most of the time you could find him in something [soft](https://images.app.goo.gl/mRn4qws9aUsUNjqX7%20) ,or some kind of [street wear](https://www.google.com/search?q=korean+streetwear&tbm=isch&hl=en-us&chips=q:korean+streetwear,g_1:hypebeast:1O7TuiwWpC0%3D&client=safari&prmd=isnv&hl=en-US&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjKsMG38_DqAhWFWKwKHa7PCWkQ4lYoAnoECAEQEw&biw=487&bih=846#imgrc=WALJH8oPqsHw0M&imgdii=KoBFzqj14CImmM) he bought online for cheap.

currently hyunjin was getting ready for classes, [clad in](https://pin.it/5OIP4Zf) a soft grey sweater, tucked into brown slacks that ended a few inches before his ankle, and a brown belt with gold accents to keep the slacks from slipping down on his waist. 

as for appearance the boy topped the outfit off with a beret, his soft pink hair peeking out from it as he turned towards his best friend felix. 

“hey lix?” he calls the blondes name hesitantly as he continues eyeing himself in the mirror. 

“yeah?” the latter finally responds as he sighs, seeing the taller eyeing himself hesitantly in the mirror. felix could recognize the look in his eyes anywhere, _insecurity_. 

sighing, felix makes his way over to hyunjin, rubbing small circles into his lower back and resting his chin on the pink haired boys shoulder. “you look very pretty jinnie, you always do. now come on we’re gonna be late for class.” felix tried reassuring as he grabs his backpack and swings it over his shoulder, watching as hyunjin gathers his things and soon does the same, missing the frown on his face.

both the boys walk out of their shared apartment, hand in hand, one with a soft smile and the other with a tired face. 

🔆

Hyunjin sighs as he sits down in his pre-cal class, having parted ways with felix as on this particular day their classes were all different. 

he sighs and pulls out a notebook to write all of his notes in so he can have them for reference later. 

the bell soon rings and the professor comes in, passing out a handsheet for everyone and beginning his lesson. 

Half way through the lesson, Hyunjin is struggling a bit, but he always takes time to ask the teacher how he did something, or if he could work through the problem again. because of this, hyunjin often got teased by his classmates for being slower than the rest or just flat out dumb. 

once the professor is done working through a problem hyunjin asked for, the boy about 2 seats down turns towards hyunjin and laughs out a “hyunjin, you’re so lucky you have a pretty face.” that strikes something in hyunjin, he pretends to laugh it off but something about the comment hurt’s hyunjin’s heart. 

the rest of the class goes the same, hyunjin still asking a few questions here and there but with a heavy feeling in his heart each time he opens his mouth to speak. 

🔅

once hyunjin finishes that class, he heads towards a dance studio in the university only making a detour once to change his clothes. he loved the dance studio, it was a place for him to relax and unwind when stressed. 

as soon as he walks into the spacious studio, his footsteps echo in the room and bounce off the walls. 

hyunjin looks at himself in the mirror, and lets out a frustrated yell, he tugs and tugs at his hair as he yanks off his bag and swings it across the room. 

he frustratedly pulls out his phone from his pocket and connects it to the speaker in the room, playing a soft ballad contrary to his emotions right now. 

his moves are so off for the song, the tune being soft and relaxing, as if meant to put you into a trance. hyunjin’s moves were hard and stiff, but powerful and precise. hyunjin’s emotions are out for anyone who walks into the practice room to see, he dances his heart and emotion out, and he begins to feel the sweat running down his body from the harsh movements. 

the dance looks beautiful, although it doesn’t match the song, hyunjin’s emotions are seen through his movements and it’s so strong that it’s sure to bring anyone to their knees if they were to watch for so long. 

but alas, all things must come to an end and an hour later hyunjin crashes down, a sob racking through his body as he lays breathlessly on the floor. 

the door swings open later, hyunjin had already composed himself and his emotions and was sitting on the floor staring straight at himself in the mirror, as if analyzing his facial features. 

chan, who had been the one to open the door, walks over to hyunjin, eyeing the smaller sympathetically as he ruffles his hair. 

the frustrated and judging trance in hyunjin’s eyes is broken from the affectionate touch and he turns to chan with a tired look in his eyes. 

hyunjin usually had a shimmer in his eyes, a reminder that hyunjin was more than your average person, he was the bright friend of the group. sometimes though, he had this tired and lost look in his eyes as well, and this reminded them once again that hyunjin was human and he too had struggles. 

“what bothering your mind pretty?” hyunjin knew it was a term of endearment, but the thought of being called anything like now made hyunjin want to scream and have a breakdown all over again. 

“not pretty, and not in the mood, don’t want to be called that right now please.” hyunjin tries to plead in the nicest tone he could muster out of his frustration. 

“alright, then what’s on your mind right now angel?” chan tries again, hyunjin snorting as the change wasn’t much but still helped hyunjin relax. he tells chan about what happened in his class today, and how that triggered something in him from before, he told him about his insecurities, and how tired he was of just being a pretty face to some people. 

“is that really it ?” chan asks in disbelief, wondering how the boy could get himself into such a negative mindset about a small comment but hyunjin just turns to him, anger and hurt in his eyes as he makes a movement to get up. 

“what do you mean that’s it? i’m tired of just being a pretty face to people. I want to be so much more than that! i want to be known as someone who’s smart, talented, kind. not as someone who’s dumb as bricks and only gets on in life because of their pretty face privilege.” 

you can hear how tired hyunjin is, how this is weighing him down, he wants to be so much more to people, he know he can be but why is it that people refuse to see it and focus on his external features instead ? 

hyunjin holds back his tears at the thought of someone once again not understanding and grabs his things before leaving the room in the wrong headspace with the door slamming behind him, the loud sound bringing chan out of his shocked state. 

🔆

Hyunjin is halfway done walking home before a thunder claps across the sky and the clouds begin to cry, their tears drenching everyone who stands below them in their sadness. 

the weather only seems to put hyunjin in a worse mood and he covers his ears trying block out the loud sound. his fast walk turns into a sprint and he tries to get home so quickly, that he doesn’t notice the body walking towards him and yelps as he crashes to the floor. 

he whimpers softly, his palms burning harshly as he examines them, already expecting the bloody scratches that are streaked across. 

“shit, i am so so sorry!” the stranger says apologetically as he helps the younger off the pavement, making sure to avoid his arms as he tries to look hyunjin in his eyes to see if he’s okay. 

it was safe to say hyunjin looked like a mess, tears running down his flushed cheeks and usually styled hair sitting flat against his head from the rain that only seemed to be getting worse. 

“oh that looks kinda bad..” the stranger speaks again as he eyes hyunjin’s hands, seeing them a bit clearer now and turning frantically, as if looking for something. 

“hey look! my apartments over there! you can come in real quick and i’ll patch you up ok? how far do you live ? i’ll call you a cab once i’m done! i wouldn’t want anyone walking in this weather and don’t worry-“ the stranger continues rambling and all hyunjin can do is stare at the side of the strangers face as he’s being lead towards the apartment, the hand on his upper back being the only sense of warmth. 


	2. chapter two :]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minho and hyunjin go on a coffee shop date, and slight character development with hyunjin,, yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for taking so long to upload, i planned to upload last week but i wasn't done writing the coffee date and i felt bad uploading the chapter on a cliff hanger again so i took a bit longer to complete it and then i accidentally deleted the writing i had gotten done LOL BUT I GOT IT BACK SO IT'S OKAY. anyways i hope you guys enjoy this chapter :))

hyunjin’s shiver gets a bit harsher as the A.C. from the strangers apartment hits him on the way in. hyunjin looks around the apartment and finds it cozy, it smells like bath and body works during the fall and it feels like a home rather than an apartment in the city. 

“here, sit down on the couch and i’ll get you a change of clothes so you went get sick!” the slightly shorter man says as he runs off before hyunjin has a chance to protest. 

he sits down on the couch and examines his hands, wincing slightly when he tries to place them on his lap. 

the pretty boy comes back into the room with a first aid kit and a change of clothes and sits down right next to hyunjin on the couch. 

“what’s your name?” asks the brunette and it finally hits hyunjin that he’s in someone’s apartment and they don’t even know each other’s name. 

“hyunjin..” he replies softly as his voice was strained from crying and his throat felt so so dry as he watched the stranger clean and wrap up his hands. 

“hyunjin? that’s a pretty name.. i’m minho!” replies the man and looks upwards to flash hyunjin one of the prettiest smiles hyunjin’s ever seen. 

“so hyunjin, i’m very sorry about knocking you ever earlier but I have now patched up your hands and given you extra clothes so i feel like that’s enough to make it up to you, correct?” hyunjin just stares at the straightforward man and nods dumbly, blushing when minho lets out a giggles that’s just as pretty as his smile. 

“if you want to change the bathroom is down the hall to the right and i’ll call a cab for you while you get dressed?” minho suggests and hyunjin nods with a soft smile place on his lips “yeah that sounds good.” replies before getting up and going to change.

<3

Hyunjin’s face is still flushed and his chest still feels light when he hops out of the cab that minho called for him. he walks up the apartment stairs and holds the bag with his wet clothes tightly, memories of the pretty man making themselves comfortable in hyunjin’s mind. 

he glances down at the piece of paper that minho had written his number on and tucked it into his pocket. 

hyunjin lets out a sigh as he walks into his apartment and sees felix sprawled across the couch lazily, eyes set on some anime he was watched on the tv. 

at the sound of the door shutting felix glances over and sits up, patting the spot next to him and hyunjin complies, snuggling up to felix once he’s sunk into the couch. 

“where were you ?” felix questions quietly, not wanting to break the cozy atmosphere that had been set once hyunjin walked in

hyunjin just sighs as he shakes his head, “not important, i’ll tell you later ok?” all felix can do is nod as the both of them soon fall asleep on the couch together, the show playing on the gg acting as pointless noise. 

<3

it’s been about 2 days since hyunjin had seen the pretty boy with cat eyes and plump lips, and it would be a lie if hyunjin said he didn’t miss his endless rambling. 

crazy, that’s what felix called him when hyunjin told him about his crush on someone he had known for less than a day. other than that, the blonde had been very supportive and told him he would be there for him no matter what. 

currently hyunjin’s sitting in his calculus class while staring blankly at his phone, it had been 2 days of texting back and forth with minho and hyunjin was dying to see the pretty boy again. 

he flinches back as the phone screen lights up and hyunjin has to hold back a squeal before reading the message and immediately typing out a response. 

PRETTY BOY :]  
hey, would you be up for some coffee after your classes? 

hyunjin just about screams as he almost hits ‘send text’ immediately. he waits about 2 minutes before sending a quick “sure!” to minho. a bright smile is set on hyunjin’s face as they plan out that minho would wait for hyunjin outside the university. 

just as hyunjin sets his phone down, the bell rings and the class is dismissed. hyunjin throws all of his shit into his backpack messily, reminding himself to sort it out at the coffee shop or he’d regret it tomorrow. 

‘ok entrance, kinda short pretty boy with cat eyes and plump lips’ is what hyunjin tells himself as he searches for minho around the entrance. 

“hey pretty boy!” is yelled across and hyunjin almost snaps his neck at how quick he turns towards the voice, however it doesn’t belong to who hyunjin was hoping for. 

“ah, hey chan hyung” hyunjin says softly, small smile settled on his lips as hyunjin is suddenly pulled into a tight hug. 

“i’m sorry.” is what is first heard as hyunjin looks up at chan. “what? for what?” hyunjin plays clueless, thinking their earlier incident wasn’t a big deal. 

“for hurting your feelings, what i said was out of line and i should’ve been there for you and more understanding rather than trying to prove you wrong and put you down.” hyunjin almost tears up at how sincere and serious chan sounds. this apology although was expected as chan wasn’t one to run away from his mistakes and owned up to them instead. 

hyunjin liked to refer to chan as his ‘personal therapist’. he was that one friend who always gave the best advice without getting too involved unless needed. of course he did have his negative moments but everyone does and it’s expected. 

“it’s okay, don’t worry about it chan hyung, b-but i’m actually supposed to be meeting someone right now so ill talk to you later okay?” hyunjin rushes out as he turns to look for minho again and whips out his phone, seeing 2 missed calls. 

‘ah shit.’ hyunjin thinks as he waves at chan and starts dialing minho’s number. 

“hello?” minho’s sweet honey voice runs through the phone and hyunjin swears he could fall asleep to his voice. 

“h-hi! sorry i ran into a friend while i was looking for you, um where are you?” is rushed out of hyunjin’s somewhat dry lips as he paces around the front entrance. 

“behind you.”

“what-“ the call is suddenly ended and a tap on hyunjin’s back makes him jump as a squeak leaves his lips out of surprise. 

“for a tall person you’re not very good at looking for people.” is what minho giggles out as he holds on to hyunjins backpack strap and starts leading them towards. 

hyunjins face is flushed red as he stutters out an apology and follows minho like a lost puppy. 

“s-so are we walking there?” hyunjin finally blurts out as they’d been walking for a bit and he didn’t really see a car nearby. 

“yeah, i have a car but i thought it’d be nice to walk instead, plus it’s not too far, if you get tired i can get us a cab though” offers a happy minho as the breeze whips against them softly. 

it wasn’t too hot or too cold, it was nice and fresh so hyunjin could understand why the smaller decided walking would be nicer. 

“no it’s okay, i actually prefer walking to places as well.”

minho turns to hyunjin and smiles, happy to have something in common and points ahead “look it’s right there, cmon!” is what an enthusiastic minho says as he now drags hyunjin towards the cafe entrance. 

hyunjin is nearly panting as minho opens the door for both of them and leads them to sit down in a booth near the window, saying he likes to look at the view. 

“ok, you can wait here while i go and order, do you want anything in particular?” 

“ou yes! an iced american please!” hyunjin blurts out excitedly and minho almost coos at how adorable the younger had looked. 

“ok i’ll be right back” is the last thing said before hyunjin watches minho’s figure go towards the line. 

<3

hyunjin sighs as he taps his fingers and looks around the cafe before turning and finally deciding to observe people passing by outside through the window.  
“ok i’m back!” minho’s cheerful voice breaks hyunjin out of thought and he smiles softly at the brunette. 

“one iced americano and one hot chocolate for me!” minho says as he hands hyunjin his drink, who immediately sips at it. 

“so hyunjin,, this is pretty cliché but tell me about yourself” 

hyunjin laughs nervously as he taps his fingers against the plastic cup in his hands and he thinks of what to say first, if he says something simple the conversation probably wouldn’t go far, but if he said something weird and too deep into thought he might scare minho off. 

seeing him troubled by his thoughts minho calls his name out softly with a slight tilt on his head “hey it doesn’t have to be something big, just tell me your favorite color or something like that” minho smiles at him reassuringly and hyunjin says a quick ‘sorry’

“um, well i like the color yellow, and green, yellow and green are my favorites, i like green because it reminds me of planes, i love plants!” hyunjin rambles happily “like i have so many of them, if you were to come into my room they would be everywhere...” hyunjin laughs thinking of the time felix said his room resembled a green room of some sort. 

“that’s cute! i love plants too, i have a few but most of the time they die off because i’m not too good at remembering to water them.” minho laughs a bit embarrassed and hyunjin wonders how someone could look so pretty. 

they continue to converse for a few hours and before they know it the sun is setting, and more people are arriving to the cafe as it’s usually fuller during the later hours. 

“ok hyunjin i don’t know about you but i had lots of fun talking to you..” minho admits as a small blush runs across his face

hyunjin almost does a double take as he realizes this but concludes that it’s from the cold wind hitting their face. 

“yeah me too, if you don’t mind i... i’d like to do this again sometime, or we could always go somewhere else i don’t mind..” hyunjin rambles a bit and minho ruffles his hair, saying something along the lines of “you’re so cute” and then proceeding to put his hands in his pockets. 

“ok it’s fucking cold and i refuse to let us walk home in this weather” hyunjin laughs at the curse that sounds foreign from the shorter’s lips. 

that’s one thing hyunjin has learned in the past few days, minho rarely curses unless feeling an emotion strongly, where as hyunjin would throw in a curse to whatever sentence was leaving his mouth. 

“hyunjin come on” is what he last hears before his hand is being grabbed and his body is yanked towards a cab, they both pile in and are both shivering as they sit closely together. 

taking note of the close distance hyunjin debates whether or not to scoot away, but decides against it as he could use the excuse that it was cold and he was saving body heat. 

“here i have an idea” minho’s soft voice breaks the comfortable silence as he grabs hyunjin’s hands in his own and exhales on them, the air making a ‘ha’ sound as hyunjin holds back a laugh. 

the action still fails to not melt his heart and he’s blushing within seconds, it’s in this moment that hyunjin’s notices his hands are quite obviously bigger than minho’s, duh, but somehow the way he holds them makes hyunjin feel a bit smaller compared to the older, and he finds himself enjoying the feeling. 

the cab stops by hyunjin’s apartment first and he almost voices out a complaint that minho’s place was closer to the cafe and he could’ve easily walked home or gone home first. 

he bites his tongue for once though, and lets him have his way, at least just this once. 

hyunjin prepares himself for the cold air and opens the cab door, regretting it immediately. minho’s body follows hyunjin out of the cab and hyunjin turns around a bit confused, “what’s wrong?” he asks with a crease between his furrowed brows. 

minho just smiles sweetly and ruffles hyunjin’s hair again, “nothing just wanted to say bye.” to which hyunjin giggles nervously before letting his social anxiety take over and saying a quick “oh ok, uh bye!” before running up the steps of the building and disappearing behind the closing door. 

“you’re really something else hyunjin...” is the last thing spoken into the night before minho climbs back into the cab and heads home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys liked this chapter and i will try to update by the end of this week if school isn't too hectic, ok bye ! :>

**Author's Note:**

> if you would like to yell @ me, comment and i’ll link my twitter :]


End file.
